I had a few ideas for this week and I even started a couple but ended up disliking them. I feel like some of my favorite posts are those that I’ve had very little time to write. It probably has something to do with living with an idea. Sometimes, the longer I think about an idea, the less I want to write about it. I live with them in my head for weeks and feel great about writing. Other ideas I live with for a while and only hate once I’ve written something about them. I have yet to figure out what differentiates these ideas.
For some reason, I thought that once I got out of school I wouldn’t have any reason to procrastinate. There are no papers to write or classes to get to. There aren’t any professors breathing down my back about getting my novel done. I’ve got work and church and beyond that pretty much only what I actively choose to take on.
Most often I write my blog post for the week at the last minute. I get up to Saturday, usually work until 9pm, get home close to 10pm, then have to come up with something quickly to post before midnight. Sometimes that backfires and I end up with nothing worth posting. But I’ve done it enough that it works out more often than it doesn’t. So that’s great but I’m not sure what lesson I should be learning. I don’t LIKE to wait until Saturday to write but it just works out that way most often.
Maybe it’s less about things “working out” this way and more about a mindset I’ve started putting myself in. I’d much rather have a backlog of posts that I can publish at my leisure. I actually tried that at the beginning but found I really didn’t like the posts after a few weeks so I gave up on it. I think I just get more critical over time and also, as I write, I come up with lots of different avenues in my head. I try to think about different angles and how I truly feel about the topic. So by the time I actually hit publish, I’ve exhausted the topic in my head. I’ve already thought of all these things in ten different ways. It feels old and I’ve heard it a million times and it’s boring. Which makes me feel like my audience is going to be bored even though, objectively, I know it will be the first time they’re reading my thoughts.
When I write Saturday night and hit publish right off, it makes the topic feel less old to me. I sit down, write something I didn’t even know I was going to write, then send it off into the world. (I do minor edits beforehand for grammar and flow, it’s not technically an immediate publish.) So here I am again on a Saturday night, writing a post on the fly, hoping it all turns out okay.
It has so far.