I’m not a fan of talking on the phone. I prefer written communication. Always. I make exceptions for a few people in my life but the list is short and you really have to rank to be on it.
My hatred for phone calls has several reasons.
1. I have sensitive ears. Growing up I had ear infections AT LEAST once a year, sometimes twice, until I was about 18 when I had a massive infection. I took the wrong dose of medication for it so it wasn’t knocked out as fast as it should’ve been. To make a long explanation short, my ears have never been the same. I’m sensitive to loud noises and any speakers being close to my ears (phone, headphones, etc.) can leave me with pain for sometimes hours even if the exposure was only for a few minutes. It varies a lot. Sometimes I can be on the phone for an hour and be fine after a short time. Other times I’m on the phone for all of five minutes and I’m in pain for the rest of the day.
That’s my biggest non-whiny reason for my dislike of phone calls. It legitimately causes pain. I can’t exactly help that except by avoidance.
2. I have a poor memory sometimes. Or I don’t trust myself to remember something. If I have to plan a call I will have pen and paper handy and I’ll write down the most useless things along with the useful because I don’t want to get anything wrong and often I’m not fully sure what’s useful and what isn’t. It’s still not enough most of the time though. I still second guess because I have to write and listen and talk all at the same time.
I like things in writing that I can refer back to if I need it. Texting is great for that. Or email. Or send me a postcard. I don’t need to hear your voice all the time. I just need the information. Apart from that I also like that I can consider my words before hitting send. I have the ability to think before speaking. I have that opportunity when speaking in person or on the phone but it never quite feels that way.
3. I just hate talking on the phone. (Here comes my whiny reason.) I just don’t WANT to talk on the phone, okay? I have a couple relatives who say that they prefer hearing the person’s voice because they feel like they can hear more emotional cues from their voice but that’s definitely not true for me. I feel way more stress because it’s ONLY the person’s voice, and I also feel like I can’t necessarily control my own voice. So I don’t feel like I have as much control over the conversation. There are also just fewer actual cues for me. I don’t actually KNOW what each tone change means and I don’t have you in front of me to show me with body language. If we’re writing back and forth I can easily ask for clarification and not sound stupid whereas in spoken conversation it’s much more awkward and at some point I just feel like an idiot.
It’s not like I need to control the conversations I have, but both parties lead conversation. When one has less control than the other the conversation is lopsided and one feels less needed.
Those are my main reasons for hating talking on the phone and preferring almost any form of written communication instead. It’s not hard to text. Cell phones are very advanced these days. They have full keyboards and auto-correct and a lot of other very useful features. Texting is easy enough for just about anyone to do it. If you can type words then you can communicate with the written word. And if you care, you can do that effectively.
Speaking is not the only way to talk to people. There are many methods for communication and limiting yourself to one is a bit short sighted. And if you make everyone else cater to your own preference then you’re being incredibly rude. I have my preference and I avoid the phone as much as I can yet I still have to make phone calls. I still have to answer the phone at work and I still have to communicate with people over it. If someone calls me then I’ll pick up (if I know the number). It’s not as though I outright refuse to use the phone. I find that most people who have a preference for written communication are like this. They’re still open and able and willing to use another form of communication.
If you’re a person who prefers phone calls that’s fine. But don’t MAKE me talk to you on the phone. Maybe I’ll do it for you sometimes but you gotta give me some leniency too. I prefer written, you don’t. So there are going to be times when we have to make sacrifices for each other. Please be willing to do that.