It’s Not “Who You Are”, You’re Just Being a Terrible Person

Image result for I'm running out of excuses for being late

That image makes its round on social media from time to time and it’s funny but also annoying. I know, we’ve all been late before (or incredibly early) and it’s not like that’s a big deal. People are fairly understanding about it. Then you have people who are chronically late. They can’t seem to get anywhere on time. Their friends tell them the party starts at 6pm because they won’t walk in until the real start time at 8pm.

Look, I get it. It can be difficult to manage your time. But at some point you have to realize you’ve crossed the line from quirky but lovable late friend to inconsiderate friend who can’t be bothered to show up when they’re supposed to. You’re not funny when you use the above excuse. You’re annoying. Like, yeah, that little chuckle you shared definitely makes it up to me that you’ve wasted everyone’s time and possibly made us late for appointments I can’t control.

It’s not even JUST about being late. It’s about using “It’s just who I am” as an excuse to be a crappy person.

“That comment was pretty rude.”

“I’m just a blunt person.”

 

“I’d rather you not use profanity around my kids.”

“That’s is just how I talk.”

 

“Kind of inconsiderate to gift a jar of peanut butter to someone with a peanut allergy, don’t you think?”

“Oh I’m just terrible at giving gifts. I can’t help it.”

No. Saying it’s part of your character doesn’t make it any less rude, obnoxious, and inconsiderate. I’m so sick of people using it as an excuse to be a bad person. If being rude is part of your identity then your identity needs to change. If wasting people’s time is part of your character then you need to change your character. You can’t just decide that everyone else has to bow down to your personal flaws. Yes! FLAWS.

We all have flaws in our character. It’s not like that’s a new concept. But more and more I hear people excuse flaws by saying those negative things are just part of “who they are.” Which is stupid. If someone calls you out on that excuse you can say the they just doesn’t understand you, don’t like you, obviously just can’t get along with people. You can put all the blame on the other person instead of taking responsibility for yourself.

Blunt people can still be polite, it’s about knowing when to keep your mouth shut, not what comes out of it. Late people can work on time management skills by enlisting friends to send them reminders, keeping a time journal, setting things out for events the day before, etc. If you’re terrible at gift giving then maybe just ask someone close to the person what they might want and if that fails just give cash, it’s better than a bad present.

You are your own person. No one is forcing you to wallow in your own flaws or making you accept them as part of yourself that you can’t possibly change. Just stop. Be a better person than yourself 5 years ago. While I fully believe in having confidence in who you are, don’t sell yourself short or settle for less than the best. You’re not sacrificing who you are to become a better version of yourself. You’re simply learning and growing into the best you that you can be.

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