Sometimes my life feels really terrible. Especially when I’m crazy sleep deprived and can’t seem to make myself function in any normal capacity. I get really negative and irritated with little things and I know they’re little things but knowing that I’m overreacting just makes me more irritated with myself and the situation.
I want my life the way I want it. When I can’t have it I feel like a failure or that the whole world is just grossly unfair to me. I don’t deserve chronic insomnia, student debt, a cat with way too many problems, and I don’t deserve to be stuck living with my parents when I want to be on my own like an adult! I don’t deserve to be stuck behind slow drivers. I don’t deserve to miss out on ice cream because I don’t have the money. I don’t deserve to have rude customers at my register. It’s not fair! Someone needs to fix all my problems! Even the ones that are my fault!
I get like this. I think many of is do. I just get tired of what seems like an endless barrage of little problems and a few big ones.
It’s times like this I have to remind myself that God is good. I don’t even have a lot of big problems right now. I am quite blessed in my life. I’m living rent free, my loans are much less than most, my parents let me use their vehicle and pay for most repairs and some gas, I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a job with people I like to be around, loving parents, an adorable cat, and plenty of clothing. I do not have a bad life. My circumstances are not dire. Most things in my life are going alright.
Sometimes I just need to take a breath and remember that I’m moving along no matter how slowly. God has a plan and I need to be patient.
I complain about things but I also take the time to ground myself in reality and keep track of what really matters.