Five Stars

Since I’ve been doing more book reviews this year (check them out on Goodreads or Amazon) I thought it would be helpful to write down how I actually use the star ratings. Even if it’s just for my own sanity, clarity, and consistency, I need to put down on. Part of this is going to be me figuring out how I currently use star ratings and then going from there with whether I want to continue that way or not. I think I have an okay system so far, I just haven’t put it down anywhere to make myself stick to it all the time.

The first thing to note is that all of my star ratings (out of five, which is the typical number available) start at three stars. I will always go into every book, movie, or product with a  three star rating in mind. Why? Because I think that’s fair. Three is just a little over half of possible stars and I like to begin any journey with balanced expectations. I don’t want to put a lot of pressure on myself or even whatever I’m reviewing. So I start right in the middle.

Then it’s a matter of deciding if the book impresses me or not. If it does, it goes up to a four star rating. If it disappoints my reasonable expectations, then it goes down to two. That’s the basic spectrum. I know, it sounds arbitrary, and it is, to some extent. Because part of it is based on my own personal emotions and biases. I try to be aware of how much I dislike a book because it’s just me versus it being because the book is actually bad. In those cases, I am a little more lenient with my stars.

When I wrote my review for Ben Galley’s The Forever King, I gave it four stars and that rating is honest. But I was also being a little nice too. Because I probably would’ve kept it at three stars if he was a mainstream author. He gets a good number of reviews so I didn’t think that giving three stars would have hurt his ratings too much, but since he’s self-published (and a much better author than a lot of self-published authors) it was something I wanted to be aware of when picking my star rating. You can see that some exceptions exist for how my star ratings work. It’s one of the reasons I’ve been working on writing out reviews more. Because a star rating is very black and white. It doesn’t tell you much because it’s subject to the whims of the reviewer in a lot of ways. Some people might give a book a one star review because the author used a word they don’t like. The other day, the bookstore I work at got a one star review because we don’t offer military discounts. But I wouldn’t have known that unless they left a written review, which they did. Which is why writing reviews is important to know what the stars mean to the reviewer.

When I choose how many stars to give a book, I sometimes take into consideration things I know about the author. When I read House of Ash, I was skeptical about how the author used mental health and domestic violence situations throughout the novel. I didn’t feel like they were being used as too trope-like or negatively but at the same time I didn’t like the ways she was using mental health to show some level of “crazy” in the story. I felt like the representations were fair but maybe not balanced, I guess? See, I was torn about it. But when I read the little “about the author” section on the dust jacket, I found out that she draws from personal experiences with mental health and domestic violence. So at that point, I felt a little more generous toward her use of those things in the book. That partly informed my star rating. Obviously if I hadn’t read the author paragraph then I wouldn’t have been as thoughtful.

My friends and previous discussions of the book also can affect my ratings. If I was thinking of upping my rating to a four star but then start talking about the book with a friend and realize there are more problems than I thought, then it might stay at three or even dip to two. When I was discussing Phantom of the Opera with Charlotte, I ended up moving my rating up to four stars just by virtue of her own star rating. I had been going back and forth between 3 and 4 stars anyway so talking to her just pushed me to it.

I’m realizing how many variables there are for me to get to a star rating. I know a lot of it is based on my own personal whims. Maybe I was particularly grouchy when I read the book. Maybe I was having a really good week when I read it. Maybe I saw something about the author that tainted my perception of the book. I try to be aware of those things and adjust for them. That’s where the written review comes in. I can express what might have changed my views outside of the actual book. Unfortunately, star ratings are much less flexible.

I wish that more websites allowed for partial star ratings. There’s a lot of times when I’m torn between two numbers and wish I could do half stars. But, such is life. I can round up or down, depending on how I’m leaning that day.

Do you write reviews or just give star ratings? Let me know your process because, clearly, mine is a little all over the place!

Stop Doing This: From Blood and Ash Review

From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout is everything wrong with Young Adult romance/fantasy novels and I hate it.

I read this book as part of a book club. It is not a book I’d seek out on my own. I’m not a fan of romance. I don’t mind it being in a book, but I generally don’t read much that has the reputation of being JUST romance. So I’m not the ideal reader. However, this book is a dumpster fire of terrible relationship advice so I’m still going to rant about it. I kept my Amazon review short:

If I could give zero stars for this book, I would. At first, it was enjoyably bad. I could laugh at the hilarity of the situations and how much whiplash I got from the exposition dumps. I was genuinely enjoying myself while making wild guesses at the future plot twists and figuring out how many words the author could come up with for male reproductive parts without ACTUALLY using the anatomical term (which I won’t use here because I’m not sure what Amazon allows in reviews).

But then I started seeing all the red flags. I started seeing the same garbage that exists in way too many young adult books. The toxic man and the naïve girl. That’s this book in a nut shell. Hawke is overbearing, overprotective, obsessive, manipulative, and cruel. But he’s also soooo hot so our main girl Poppy doesn’t care that he’s literally the worst.

Sure, he’s kind of a villain in the end. Like, the literal last three chapters. Poppy wants to get away from him. But then she also has sex with him in a snowy forest so I’m not sure how much she’s going to commit to that plan.

I don’t know if there are enough words to put into how much I despise this book. I don’t want to make this review a novel in itself. Just don’t read it.

But this is my own, personal, blog and I will be doing my level best to find all the words to describe this novel.

The first words that come to mind are garbage, vile, terrible, and dangerous. Here’s your spoiler warning, but, obviously, I’m not recommending it anyway so take that however you want. I’m not giving any preamble here either, I’m going to dive right in to why this book is awful and it all hinges on the two main characters, Poppy and Hawke.

I hate their names and I hate both of them. This book is young adult fantasy, so they’re aiming for mostly teens and young adults. Targeting young, impressionable girls with this toxic, horrible relationship that’s made out to be good.

Hawke is always in control of every situation with Poppy. He grooms her into a relationship. He manipulates her constantly. He knows she’s a virgin and very sheltered. He knows how little life experience she has and he knows how hot he is and how much she is attracted to him. He uses all of that against her. The first fully sexual experience Poppy has with him is against her express wishes. Would you like to read that sentence again? HER FIRST FULLY SEXUAL EXPERIENCE WITH HIM IS AGAINST HER EXPRESS WISHES. He fondles her (through her clothing) after she tells him FOUR TIMES that she’s uncomfortable. FOUR TIMES. FOUR FREAKING TIMES. Yet he still goes on.

In the morning, she is confused. She doesn’t know how to feel about the previous night. She doesn’t know what to think. Understandable since she is not experienced nor used to these things. He swoops in, thanks her and says, “You trusted me last night, but more importantly, I know that what shared is a risk.” I may need a moment to collect myself a few times during this review and this is one of them. Because he continues, “And it is an honor that you’d take that risk with me, Poppy. So, thank you.” (page 250)

*takes a deep breath*

*screams into the sun*

*takes another deep breath*

This is grooming. This is paint-by-numbers, check the boxes, grooming behavior. She is confused and he knows it. So he comes in and thanks her for the experience. He calls it “trust” when really, he ignored everything she was telling him about how uncomfortable she was and did it anyway. I don’t even have words for how utterly disgusting that is. He takes advantage of her over and over and over and over in this book. He keeps doing it and she, being naïve, thinks all of this shows how much he loves and cares about her.

It was this scene in particular that made me revisit a previous scene where I had initially missed his manipulation. The two of them are alone together, making out under a willow tree, and it starts getting a little more heated. Hawke tells her “Anything you don’t like, say the word, and I’ll stop.” Oh, what a gentleman! What a great partner! What a good person! That if he does anything she doesn’t like then she just has to say the word, huh? Why is this manipulation? Because now, if she doesn’t say anything. If she doesn’t understand something happening. If she doesn’t speak up. Then it becomes her fault that he does something she doesn’t like. She is still a virgin at this point. She doesn’t even know what she likes or doesn’t like. She doesn’t know anything and he does. He’s way more experienced than she is. He knows exactly what he’s doing. And he knows that SHE DOESN’T. He’s not putting the power in her hands, he’s putting the guilt in her hands. He’s washing his hands of the whole situation. If she doesn’t speak up then it’s her fault he hurts her. Her fault he doesn’t stop. Her fault that anything happened at all. Her fault.

“Oh but Corrie,” you say. “That’s just a consent thing. Of course he would still be taking responsibility. You’re misinterpreting his words!”

All of his actions beyond this moment prove that he is, in fact, manipulating her. Not to mention, that moments later he stops the whole situation and says, “I would stop, but I don’t think you would stop me.” (page 205) So now he’s telling her what she feels. He’s telling her that she doesn’t know her own boundaries. He’s telling her that he’s in more control than she is. He’s telling her that he knows best for her.

She doesn’t know her own boundaries. She doesn’t know when to say stop. She doesn’t know any of that stuff. She’s new to this. She’s never had these experiences. He knows that. He knows that and he’s taking advantage of it. This scene with them under the willow is making sure that she knows future sexual experiences are in HIS control. HE gets to decide when and if anything happens between them. HE gets to start and stop at HIS whim. HE is the one who decides. And if she wants anything, she’s gonna have to ask HIM for it.

Then that whole idea is compounded by the night in the forest where he pushes past her explicit boundaries and then acts like it was done with full consent to confuse her and keep all the power in his own hands.

This is a book for teenagers. This is something a young girl may read. It’s not the only book with this kind of relationship in it. This is just the worst I’ve personally seen. I don’t seek it out and there’s probably worse out there. But this is what I found. STOP WRITING THIS FOR TEENS WHO DON’T KNOW ANY BETTER. STOP PUBLISHING THIS STUFF IN A CATEGORY FOR KIDS. STOP IT. I hate this. It makes me so mad. I recognized the grooming because I’m an adult. I recognized the toxic manipulation because I’m an adult. I know what to look for. I wouldn’t have known when I was 14, 15, 16 years old. I wouldn’t have caught it. I would’ve only seen that these two people are madly in love with each other. I would’ve spent the whole book interpreting these scenes through Poppy’s perspective and she doesn’t understand what he’s doing. I would’ve thought this was fine. I would’ve viewed his obsessive nature as caring. I would’ve seen his overbearing protection as benevolent. I wouldn’t have known to avoid those things in a partner in my own life.

Don’t buy this book. Don’t read this book. Don’t defend this book. It is vile and I’m not sure this post even begins to express how disgusted I am with it.

Book Review: The Forever King

Before I begin my review, I want to take you on a journey with me. I want you to see how I ended up reading this particular book. If you want to skip to the review part I won’t blame you. Just scroll until you see the proper bold heading.

I wish I could tell you when I first saw Ben Galley’s books but I ended up deleting the screenshot I initially took. I found him through a Facebook ad at a time when I was being constantly bombarded by absolute trash book ads. Galley’s work does not fit into the category of trash books. I wouldn’t have read it if I thought it did. (I may be hyper-critical of what I read but I’m not a glutton for punishment.) So his ad stuck out to me because it was completely different from what I was seeing normally. I like his book covers. I like them a lot. After seeing the ad a few times, I went ahead and liked his author page because I thought, “why not?” I ignored the page for a bit but then I tuned in to one of his live streams and I liked how down to earth he was. He’s also a self-published author which is the route I personally want to take with my own writing so that makes him an inspiration to me for sure.

Fast forward at least a few months, and I had enjoyed seeing updates on his writing and books but I hadn’t gotten my hands on any of his novels. Part of that is that I’m poor and part is that I don’t like taking risks. So I just waited around for a while until that fateful day he announced he was handing out Advanced Reader Copies of his newest novel as long as you committed to posting an Amazon review the first week of December 2020. I thought that this was my golden opportunity. This was my chance to read a full novel by him without risking any money at all (which is honestly kind of stupid anyway since he posts sales pretty often, I’m just ridiculously cheap I guess). I joined his review crew at the end of October and he sent out the digital ARC copies early November.

I started reading pretty quickly and, almost as quickly, realized I was reeeeaaaallllyyyy stupid for making that commitment. If you’ll check your calendar right now you will notice that it is not, in fact, the first week of December 2020. You’ll see, if you look very closely, that it is not even the year 2020 anymore. So, I missed the deadline. By, like, a lot. I can make many excuses for this failure. I work retail in the US and October-December is the busiest time of the entire year. I was working almost twice the number of hours I usually work. I could say I didn’t estimate properly on how much time it would take me from start to finish of this whole thing. I did also actually get COVID, but by that time it was already a week or so beyond the deadline anyway so maybe that’s not a valid excuse. Whatever I say, it’s all an excuse because I made a promise to finish the review in a certain window of time and I didn’t do that. I do feel bad about it still. At some point, that weird psychological thing happened where I started to think “I haven’t done it by now so what’s the point in doing it at all?” which is absolutely trash and I hate that.

I’d like to stop whining now and formally apologize to Ben Galley. I am deeply sorry, Ben. I did not join the review crew with the intention of not fulfilling my promise to write the review on time. I make no excuses. It’s fully on me and I’m sorry for it.

Now for the Actual Review

I read “The Forever King” by Ben Galley. It’s a high fantasy novel that’s book one of The Scalussen Chronicles and when I started it I was under the impression it was also book 5(?) of his Emaneska Series but now I’m on Amazon and that’s not how it’s classified at all. It definitely feels like a “This is book 5 and also book 1” so I can see it going both ways. I may have misunderstood how it’s placed in the different series but I did know that it is not supposed to be dependent on previous books to understand. This was the first book by Galley that I’ve ever picked up so I didn’t want to throw myself into the middle of one of his series since that’s pretty unfair to him as an author.

So for Amazon I posted the following,

I genuinely enjoyed this book. I really loved the world and most of the characters in this novel. When I picked it up, I was under the impression that it was the last book in Galley’s Emaneska series and also the first book in the Scalussen series. It’s showing here as just the first book of the Scalussen series but it definitely reads as the last book in a separate series as well. That’s not a bad thing. I always had enough information to understand what was going on and to understand the history of most of the characters. So everything made sense, just keep that in mind if you’re starting with Galley’s writing here!

This book reads more like an action movie than a novel most of the time. I had a love/hate relationship with that feel but I think it’s an interesting way to write. I like that it’s fast paced and dark and just overall very ‘cool’ but I also hate that it feels like that’s sometimes a crutch to be less of a book (I hope that made sense, if not I’m gonna press on anyway).

The individual scenes are fun and well-paced. I liked the characters a lot. I thought the villain was a little under-developed but I also realize that he probably exists in multiple books previous to this one so I forgive him for not being very deep. There are some great characters in this novel. I can tell some of them have history in other books and some are brand new to this story. I liked that I could jump in and not feel like I was missing too much because while I didn’t have the personal history of everyone, I had it for enough characters that I never felt confused.

There were a few moments in the story that I had problems with, that didn’t feel believable enough (there are dragons and magic so obviously it’s not BELIEVABLE but suspension of disbelief is a real thing so that’s what I mean) and occasionally tripped me up a bit. Never really enough to annoy me but enough to notice. Nothing about this book was really earth shattering for me. It was pretty good. I liked it. I don’t think it was the greatest book I’ve ever read but it’s far from the worst (as of writing this review, that book is From Blood and Ash and yes I’m calling it out in another book’s review. From Blood and Ash WISHES it was as good as The Forever King but it’s not, it’s trash and I hate that book). Galley is a good writer. I wish him all the success.

In conclusion, was The Forever King good? Yes. Was it competent? Yes. Fun to read? Yes. Did it blow me away from a literary standpoint? No. Does everything have to be high literature? No. Will I ever stop writing paragraphs where I just answer my own questions? Also no.

If you like fantasy, you’ll probably like this book. Just go into it with an open mind and it’s a very cool, enjoyable read.

Now, if you’re familiar with my review style I tend to do more of a hybrid between review and analysis. I like to toe the line between the two so I can go in depth but not be too crazy. This will be no different. Below is your official spoiler warning and you won’t get another!

***OFFICIAL SPOILER WARNING***

Because I am working off an ARC and not the final product, I will not include any quotes/page numbers as I normally would. ARCs are generally not too different from the final product but I don’t want to mischaracterize something accidentally. I will try my best to be fair in knowing that minor details may have been changed. The book is out, and you can buy it on Amazon if you want to (go do it, support the author!).

So I said in my Amazon review that this book often feels like reading an action movie. It does. Which is a positive in some ways and a negative in others. I noticed that characters are often just so cool. Modren opens up the book by being super cool. He starts a fight in the tavern because he is cool and mysterious. Then he fights a demon because he is cool and powerful. A dragon sweeps in at the last second because Modren is… incredible (you thought I was gonna say cool again but I got you). The opening scene is written to be really really, almost painfully cool. It reminded me of the scene in Lord of the Rings when we first see Vigo Mortensen’s character. I remember that scene pretty vividly because I had a mad crush on Strider when I was 11 it’s a really cool scene. We see the dark and brooding stranger sitting in the corner and the Hobbits are being reckless and loud and it’s all shadows and the stranger watches them mysteriously and notices things and is so very cool. It’s so cool it hurts.

Farden is introduced by being really cool. (Starting to wish I’d opened up a thesaurus.) He comes in the midst of a crowd and cuts down the bad guys in an instant and his armor is cool and his actions are cool and his lines are cool and wow I reeeallly should’ve gotten that thesaurus out now because I can’t stop myself. He’s just so darn cool (promise I’m stopping now) and at some point it just makes me sick. Because you can only keep that up for so long before it becomes distracting. At some point, I stop thinking about the characters and their actions and I start rolling my eyes.

Mithrid is the only one who isn’t introduced being super duper cool. She’s a great character. I mean, I like almost all the characters. But Mithrid is particularly good. I think it’s because she’s introduced in this novel so she had the home field advantage. The only disappointment is that Mithrid’s development basically stalls entirely once she gets to the fort. She was moving right along with developing and then at some point that all just stops and I don’t get to know her much better any more. I’m not sure if the timeline changed at all between the ARC and the final product but I got whiplash from how quickly everything moved. Any time an actual number of days/weeks was mentioned I felt like it should’ve been a lot MORE time. It really didn’t help Mithrid’s character since it felt like she was either moving too fast or not at all. She makes a lot of friends and other characters grow to like her but then someone is like “oh we’ve only been here for two weeks” and I’m like, are you sure you didn’t mean months? Because everyone is so darn nice to everyone. Like Mithrid puts the entire army in jeopardy because she’s being an idiot and the literal next day, everyone is just fine with her. I would’ve been PISSED if some random stupid child went gallivanting off to kill the bad guy and had to be saved by sacrificing hundreds of other soldiers for her. But another character, a high ranking, intelligent character, tells Mithrid that she “did us proud” and I really wanted to scream. Because she did not. She acted rashly and stupidly and she should’ve been treated accordingly.

Which sort of brings up the buddy-buddy feel of all the characters in general. I like when characters get along but I do not like when there’s literally no conflict. I saw this issue especially in one of the few scenes where Farden deals with the entire group of leaders that he has under him. He had pulled together a lot of different groups of peoples from all over the world of Emaneska. He’s worked hard to gain their loyalty and is working just as hard to overthrow an evil dictator emperor to free up the use of magic in the world. So everyone is on the same page. Everyone. Every. Single. Leader. Is. On. Board. Once again, I haven’t read the previous books. I can assume that Farden individually earned each of these character’s trust and loyalty. I fully believe that Galley set them up well.

But this is the final stretch. This is the countdown to death. This is the moment Farden is asking these leaders to put their peoples on the line to rescue Mithrid from her idiotic decision. Farden presents his plan to these people, asks them to put their lives on the line (not for the first time, since this battle has been raging for quite some time) and they basically don’t even question it. They’re just like “of course, Farden, we’ll follow you to the ends of the earth, obviously” and I just don’t believe it. I know these guys have really come a long way but you’re telling me that not even one of them has some emotional baggage from previous decisions made by Farden? Not a single one is there for his own reasons, not just to back up Farden any time he stubs his toe? None of these leaders from all over the world are having second thoughts about Farden and his leadership? They don’t even want five minutes to think about maybe pulling out of this whole thing while they can still save some of their own people? No? Okay, well I was secretly hoping for a fight when all these people got into one room together. I was personally let down by this room full of smart, powerful characters all capitulating to Farden without second thought.

That’s not the only time it happens, either. That’s just the biggest example. But there are plenty of times when everyone is just so nice to each other. The whole group of rebels has a near constant issue with spies and it’s not even a little surprising considering they vet members by having a dragon stare at them. They take in every rando off the streets and are so forgiving to everyone. I know they’re supposed to be the good guys but honestly, this is war and I expected it to be more brutal. The deaths and fights are brutal but as soon as it’s over they’re all best friends again. No one is upset about another soldier not having their back at some point in the battle? No one has personal problems with anyone else? At all? This very large, very diverse group of rebels who are only tenuously connected thru this fight have zero issues with each other when the blood isn’t flying? Mhmm. Okay.

That may be my biggest complaint with characters. Overall, they’re good, but could be a lot better. I mentioned the characters being a little hollow because of how cool they are and the dialogue falls into a similar tragedy at times where there are too many witty-one-liners and not enough meat to the conversation. It’s like reading constant cliffhangers; it’s fun for a while but eventually I get tired of it. There was more than one conversation that went on just a little too long, just because a character needed the last word. There were scenes that dragged a bit toward the end because someone had to do one more dramatic gesture. It was fine, I never hated it, but there are always problems with any style and Action Movie Book is no different.

I know I just spent several paragraphs complaining about it but I do genuinely like this style. The upside is that the story moves quickly. There’s a lot of energy and really fun moments. I love how dramatic everything is when it feels like I’m watching a movie instead of reading a book. It’s also a really accessible way to write a fantasy novel (or any novel) because it’s easy to comprehend without sacrificing complexities of plot and character. A newbie fantasy reader can easily get into this book without getting bogged down by a lot of crazy jargon and genealogies. Seasoned fantasy readers love that kind of stuff but us c a s u a l s are pretty happy with this more laid back approach.

Not gonna lie, the end was disappointing for me. It’ll sound weird but my biggest disappointment was how many characters were still alive. I liked the characters so why would I want them to die? Well, a lot of it has to do with genre. In fantasy (and science fiction) there tend to be A LOT of characters in a story and there tends to be a lot of death because of the way characters are used. It’s a genre that likes to have really cool, really incredibly talented characters who can solve problems with a flick of the wrist. So a small issue with that is characters tend to get in the way of the plot. Every story is a series of problems that the characters must overcome and figure out. Why bother introducing meaningful road blocks for them if they’re just going to snap their fingers and overcome them? The stakes eventually get too high and suspension of disbelief suffers. Another common thing in the genre is that characters outlive their usefulness and need to vacate the story. Fantasy can easily get bogged down with too many characters and a lot of them just aren’t needed for the whole plot so they often get out of the way by dying.

In the end of “The Forever King”, Mithrid is alive, Farden is alive, Bull is alive, Aspala is alive, Malvus is alive, Loki is alive, Warbringer is alive, Durnus is alive, Elessi is alive, and Hereni is alive. The main characters who are dead are Inwick and Modren. I am supremely disappointed that Farden lived. To be clear, I like Farden a lot. I think he’s interesting and while his development in this book was not stellar, I can tell he had a long journey through the series that I think I’d appreciate. But, in spite of that, or maybe because of that, I think he’s outlived his usefulness.

That’s a little presumptuous of me since I haven’t read the previous books so I don’t have the absolute full picture of things. But Farden falls into the category of being too powerful for the story’s needs (in my opinion). He is a really incredible mage who is now the last of the Written in all of Emaneska. Which is cool but also in this book we’ve got Mithrid, who has really unique powers and has gone through a lot of trouble to survive the war. Mithrid is clearly the new main character of this story. She is the most developed and has the most vividly told story from her beginning to now. I can see her having some really awesome adventures in future books. But… Farden is still here. And the role I most see Farden fulfilling in the rest of the books is a crutch. He’s too powerful, too smart, too innovative, and too much in general. Mithrid will be stuck in his shadow as long as he is alive.

I think Galley likes Farden too much. Unless he’s planning on killing him off in the first chapters of the next book (which I doubt), then he’s too attached. I’ve only read one book and I can see that Galley likes all his characters. Which is good but also dangerous. It’s good because authors who like their characters treat them well and use them well. It’s dangerous because authors who like their characters won’t let them go and the whole story can suffer for it. A character should never stall the plot just because the author can’t stomach getting rid of them. It’s a waste.

It’s even more of a waste because Galley is good at building characters. While many relied on archetypes, Mithrid is a good character. Her development stalled some, yeah, but her start was great and that makes me think that if I went back to the other introductions of characters in previous books they would be just as good. I liked Aspala and Bull as well. But these are the new characters in this book. These are the ones we will keep following and see what they do next. Farden and Durnus and Malvus are really just going to get in their way. How cool would it be to throw these new, young, inexperienced characters into brand new situations they have to overcome without the help of overpowered, well-known, wise characters? Very cool, in my opinion. I just don’t understand why you would want to make these interesting and complex characters then chain them to the shadow of everyone else.

Maybe Farden will leave in the next book. Maybe he’ll need a long break after everything he’s been through. That doesn’t solve anything. He’ll still exist and he’ll still swoop in at some point to save the day. That’s just his nature. He’ll be waiting in the wings for the moment of return. He’ll be this ever-present feeling at the edge of the page, the reader knowing that even in the most dire situation, Farden could come back and fix it all with barely a shrug. I’d like to see him dead and gone just for the sake of Mithrid coming into her own.

I liked the book. I think that it has a lot of really basic problems that stem from just… not knowing better? I always feel pretentious when it comes to this part of critique. I have a degree in Creative Writing so I do feel qualified to point out the kind of issues that simply plague new/untrained authors. But at the same time, Galley has been publishing books for a decade and is successful at it. Feels a little bit like I’m being the bitter, unaccomplished writer, jealous of someone being successful without paying a bunch of money for a degree. I’m not (okay, I may be a teeny tiny bit, but I’ll get to that self-published, writing for a living thing myself someday) but it sounds like I’m just a whiny little brat… Oh well. This is all my opinion and you can take it however you want. I’ll try to remain as open as I can be with where I’m coming from.

I hope that people read this book and enjoy it. I enjoyed it. I would recommend it, as I said in my Amazon review. Despite being a little disappointed in the ending, I still think the characters are good, the world is cool, and there’s so much more to explore in Emaneska. I look forward to following Galley as he continues to publish books, gain popularity, and write great fantasy novels!

Book Review: To Kill a Kingdom

I read To Kill a Kingdom by Alexandra Christo and because my *checks social media* 1 follower said they were interested in a review, here I am. I read this book as part of a book club I’m part of and it was not my own choice.

I am not particularly good at writing reviews because my much stronger preference is to write analysis or to just rant. But the latter generally requires a person to have already read the book, not plan on reading the book, or be able to still enjoy the book regardless. So what I’ll do here is write a spoiler free review at the start and put in a warning when I reach the more analysis/ranty part of the post. I think that’s the best of both worlds here.

As a warning, I can come across as quite harsh when I’m talking about books. Nothing in this post is meant to be obnoxious or rude.

A quick bit of the story (spoiler free) just so you know what’s going on if you haven’t read the book:

To Kill a Kingdom is about a siren named Lira and a human named Elian (no, I never figured out a comfortable way to pronounce his name. I called him Eli the entire novel and am going to keep calling him that) who are both royalty in their respective kingdoms. Eli is a prince who doesn’t like the weight of the crown and Lira is a princess who doesn’t like the weight of the crown.

The story is a retelling of Disney’s the Little Mermaid. I made the assumption that sirens in this book look like traditional mermaids but we never actually get a good description of them so I could be terribly wrong. (I don’t think I am.) In a siren’s birth month, they go out and hunt down a human to steal their heart (literally rip it out of their chest). Lira, being the special princess she is, exclusively hunts princes. She has only ever taken the hearts of princes.

Lira takes her cousin out for the cousin’s birthday but Lira also takes a heart, despite it not being her birth month. When they return to the siren kingdom, Lira’s mother (the sea queen) is livid and punishes Lira by destroying the heart she had taken and also forcing her to hunt for the heart of a regular sailor, not a prince, next month for her birthday. At this, Lira goes off on her own to grab the heart of the only prince known to hunt sirens, hoping it will be enough to sate her mother’s rage. Her mother finds out, punishes her again by making her human. Lira and Eli meet up and go on some adventures, etc. That’s the start of the book, all within a few chapters so I’m not spoiling anything major there if you would like to read it. I gave the book 3 out of 5 stars on Amazon where I said,

“This book is fine. I enjoyed parts of it. I definitely would recommend it to someone who enjoys YA books because it VERY young adult in every aspect. It suffers in many ways because of that too. But if you’re already a fan of most YA books then you will probably enjoy it.

There are many problems in this book but I’ll keep it to just a few. Most of the characters are underdeveloped. Eli’s crew is talked about a lot and we, the reader, are TOLD what to think of them but we are not ever SHOWN that those things are true. So I ended up feeling very hollow towards them, despite the crew being really important.

Eli and Lira’s relationship is portrayed as tense in the beginning and by the end, they’re supposed to be much closer. But there is little difference in how they speak to each other or how they act around each other. There’s not really a slow progression of growing feelings, it’s almost like they just flipped a switch and suddenly like each other.

The world building is vague and barren. There are many interesting concepts in this book but few, if any, are truly explored. The siren world was intriguing to me but it’s never expanded. When Eli says he’s ‘killed hundreds of monsters’ it doesn’t hold any weight because we don’t know how many sirens actually exist. Lira talks about winning the loyalty of her people but we never see her interact closely with anyone but her cousin (who is explicitly described as an exception to most siren etiquette) and the sea queen. It’s the same with Eli, though to a lesser extent since we at least see him briefly interact with his family and of course he interacts with his crew all the time. We don’t know how ruling a kingdom works for this world beyond that Eli will inherit the throne. But we don’t see him interact with his future subjects or even hear him talk about what it would be like to be king (beyond not wanting that responsibility). So these concepts hold no weight.

Finally, there are constant contradictions. It’s mostly with the characters talking about things. Eli dreads going home because he doesn’t want to face his father. But when he gets there we see he has a wonderful relationship with his entire family. Eli claims his dad doesn’t approve of him being a pirate yet his father has fully enables him to do this even down to giving him an expensive, enchanted knife. Even when we sit down with them together, his dad seems vaguely disappointed with Eli but doesn’t stop him from leaving. Eli claims he doesn’t like being back at his kingdom, the ship is his home and the kingdom is like a foreign place to him. But then he is personally offended that danger has reached his “home” because of Lira.

That’s just Eli’s portion of contradictions in the first third of the book. Lira has her fair share too, mostly when it comes to how the siren kingdom functions. But we don’t see as much of her world so it’s not quite as bad as Eli. Lira constantly talks about the siren world being very cutthroat and cruel but then she immediately interacts warmly with her cousin who she clearly cares about. Lira says there’s no loyalty for sirens, except to the sea queen, yet also says she has ‘earned’ the loyalty of her future subjects before she is the queen. Those two are Lira’s biggest contradictions and they come up a lot.

I still enjoyed reading this book for the most part. I got caught up in the story towards the end. It wasn’t a bad read but I don’t want to ignore the issues I saw.

Would recommend, 3/5 stars”

This concludes the spoiler free portion of my review. Thank you so much for reading! Let me know if you decide to read To Kill a Kingdom and I’d love to hear what you think of it!

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

I’m splitting up my analysis-esque review into two big parts. I tend to ramble a lot when discussing books so I’m going to do my best to stay focused on these things and add at the end a miscellaneous section for smaller points. The sections presuppose you know something about the book going in so if you haven’t read the book, some of this will be a little confusing. I hope it is still enjoyable!

Character Development

The concepts behind the characters are really cool. Lira is an awesome mythological creature, Eli is a prince turned swashbuckling pirate who hunts down deadly monsters. Both of those are great. Eli’s crew is also cool. I like the little bit of back story we get for a couple of them and I think they could be solid characters. Could be.

Throughout the first several chapters with Eli on his ship, he repeatedly says that this crew is his family. They have earned each other’s loyalty and they matter deeply to one another. Eli says this, oh, like ten billion times throughout the book. But it struck me the most in the first few chapters because, at that point, I can’t possibly know if he’s lying to me or not. He just keeps saying that he cares about each one of his crew members but then, the reader never even learns more than 3-4 of their names. They’re all faceless members of the crew. This wouldn’t be much of an issue if it wasn’t told to me (over and over) that Eli cares so much about them. If you care about someone, then you know their name and, at the very least, you can point them out in a crowd. But at no point in the novel did I feel like Eli actually knew anyone who wasn’t a main character.

The main characters he had real friendships with were Torik, Madrid, and Kye. These three were the most utilized characters around Eli and I wish they had been better. They were never truly developed throughout the story. I think Madrid got the same vague backstory like eighteen times while Torik barely got a first name. Kye is probably the most developed supporting character and even he is wildly inconsistent. I knew there was something reoccurring that was making me not attach myself to these characters but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Then I got to pages 170-172 where Kye is LIVID that Eli is allowing Lira into their group. He is SO MAD on page 170. We’ve never seen Kye act this way. He’s been suspicious of Lira so far but never this upset over how Eli feels about her. Then, on page 172, roughly 30-60 seconds worth of book time, Kye is all chummy and cracking jokes with everyone else. You’d think that someone who has, up until this point, acted very level-headed and careful would need more than a minute of cooldown time after blowing up in an argument. But that’s the moment I recognized what made these three characters so difficult to develop in the story. They’re always joking. They’re never serious. Kye was serious for three seconds and then is immediately back to sarcastic chiding. All the dialogue for Kye, Madrid, and Torik is constant witty banter and sarcasm back and forth. It makes it almost impossible to relate to these characters because they all sound the same and because without serious moments, the reader doesn’t really know who they are.

“You fancy a game?” Madrid looks up at me. “As it happens, Torik is a sore loser.”

“And you’re a mighty cheat,” says Torik. “She’s got cards up her sleeve.”

“The only thing up my sleeve is tricks and talent.”

“There!” Torik points. “You see. Tricks.”

From the floor, the assistant engineer looks up at them. “I didn’t see any cheating.” He threads a needle through a pair of patchwork socks.

“Ha.” Torik clips him around the ear halfheartedly. “You were too busy knittin’.”

“I’m sewing,” he disputes. “And if you don’t want me to, I’ll throw your lot overboard.”

Torik grunts. “Attitude,” he says. Then, to me, “All I get is attitude.”

“It’s all you give, too,” I tell him.

“I give my heart and soul,” Torik protests.

“My mistake,” I say. “I wasn’t aware you had either of those things.”

Beside me, Kye sniggers. “It’s why he always loses,” he says. “No heart and so no imagination.”

“You be careful I don’t imagine throwin’ you overboard,” Torik calls up to him. “What do you think, Cap? Do we really need another siren hunter on this quest?”

Page 85

The above is an example of this kind of… waste of space. This conversation doesn’t tell me anything. I have gained no new information and have not grown any feelings about any of these characters. Sarcasm is fun, banter is fun, writing witty lines is satisfying. But those things RARELY help readers better understand a character. If I removed the names from that conversation, you wouldn’t be able to point out who said what. Not that every line in a book has to be that unique, but if I’m almost halfway through a story, I should have at least a feel for the way each characters speaks. I should be able to make a reasonable guess at who says a line based on vocabulary, sentence structure, accent, etc. (One character does have an accent… sometimes, but I don’t remember which one.)

I’m not trying to be mean here. I sound a lot harsher than I am. I’ve gotten caught up in this type of dialogue in my own writing. I love sarcasm and wit. Using it to develop characters is possible and useful but can also be difficult for all the reasons above. The problem is more that it should not be the primary method for development of character through dialogue. In To Kill a Kingdom, it is and I think many moments fall flat because of it.

I really wanted to like the side characters in this story but it seems like all of them get essentially the same treatment of this under-development mostly through dialogue.

The main characters are okay. I think they’re developed well enough through the entirety of the book. Eli and Lira have a similar internal conflict but Lira is way more interesting since she has a more skin in the game. Lira must rip out Eli’s heart or she will lose everything. She is supposed to eventually become the sea queen, which she wants but also doesn’t want. Her mother is a terribly cruel queen and Lira doesn’t want to follow her example, yet she values her kingdom and wants to rule it better than her mother did. At the same time, she sees that her mother holds power through fear and wonders if she could ever hold power without it. So Lira has a lot of risk in this story. She could upset the power balance of both ocean and land with her decisions. She doesn’t always put it in that perspective but she definitely feels the weight of her choices.

Eli doesn’t want to inherit his kingdom because he is a child and would rather gallivant around the ocean instead of growing up and taking responsibility for his life he values the freedom the ocean gives over the chains of running a kingdom. So Eli is very straightforward in his feelings while Lira has more opportunity to change and shift her mindset.

World building

The biggest downfall of this book is world building. The biggest issue within this is that it never made clear how many sirens exist and how many people they kill on a yearly basis. I wasn’t looking for a spreadsheet here but there’s a lot of conflicting information about it. Eli has a somewhat singular goal of destroying all the sirens. He sees this goal as noble. He wants to rid the world of these monsters (and they are monsters who murder people). Obviously, Lira has a vested interest in him not doing that. As a reader, I need to know how much these goals conflict. I understand what each of these characters wants and needs but I don’t understand how the world works around them.

It’s implied that most people on the land do not believe sirens exist or, at the very least, that sirens are not a threat. On page 21, Eli’s dad says, “There’s nothing out there but ocean” with Eli quickly replying “And sirens” which is met with a laugh. But at the ball later on Eli discusses the “forbidden language” of the ocean, which is the language sirens speak. So there are people who believe in sirens enough that they know there’s a language that is exclusive to sirens. Yet his father tells Eli to “pay less mind to fairy tales” on page 52.

Are sirens nearly extinct in this world so they’re just fairy tales? So what’s the point of hunting them for Eli? If half of all people don’t even believe they exist then he’s not getting any glory from it. There’s one siren that is sort of well known, Lira is the Prince’s Bane but she’s not enough of a threat that the kingdoms keep their princes from traveling during her birth month.

So I’m back to my first questions: how many sirens exist and how many people do they kill on a yearly basis? This is never answered. I have no idea what the stakes are in this world. If there are 8 million sirens in the ocean then I can’t care much that Eli is killing a couple hundred of them each year. If there are only 8,000 sirens then I care a lot that Eli is killing a couple hundred a year. Conversely, if sirens are killing 10,000 humans each year then I can sympathize with Eli’s goals and see them as noble. But if sirens are only killing a few dozen people a year then while that’s unfortunate, it doesn’t seem like enough of a pull for him to give up an entire kingdom to hunt them down. It really seems like Eli just wants the pure adventure of finding and killing a mythological creature. Which is fine, but that’s really not explored in any way. His motives aren’t called into question beyond Lira being understandably upset he is exclusively murdering her species.

Beyond this major world building problem, I just find a lot of great concepts are never explored. Magic is very underexplained and underutilized in this book. I like Eli’s magic dagger but it’s only used in one plot point and could’ve easily been replaced by anything else. I like Lira’s magic necklace but it’s used a couple of times and those moments were not that big or important.

I liked all the different kingdoms that seemed to have singular, important traits. But they never felt like very real places. That’s less of a problem since we spend the majority of our time on the ocean, away from these kingdoms so I’m just disappointed we didn’t get to see all the cool things in these places. It doesn’t take away from the story for the land-side of things. For the ocean side though, it is an issue that ties directly back into the first problem. There is almost no development of the underwater siren world. Not only do I not know how many sirens there are, I don’t even know how their society works. I have no idea how sirens actually interact with each other on a daily basis because we see less than a dozen sirens in their natural habitat. I know how Lira interacts with her cousin and her mother but she literally only speaks to one other siren and that siren immediately dies. All I have is what Lira tells me and what she tells me conflicts with what she shows me in the story. She says that sirens are only loyal to the sea queen and hate each other. But she has a great relationship with her cousin and is not, herself, fully loyal to the sea queen. So it’s inconsistent and I don’t have anything concrete to hold onto to clear up these things.

Miscellaneous

Plot/Story: I do not like fairy tale retellings and I like Disney fairy tale retellings even less. It’s not a deal breaker for me but it is not something I would ever seek out on my own. So that’s a little hit against it on a purely personal note which I recognize as my own bias.

I was pleasantly surprised that this book did not end with Lira choosing to live in the human world. She picks her kingdom over his. That is a major break from the Disney story but it also made it, in my opinion, less satisfying. Because they still end up as a couple, just that Eli still runs around the ocean on his ship and Lira stays in her space to rule the sirens. So it’s mostly just… boring. It’s not clear how they’re going to make this relationship work when neither seems willing to give up any part of their lives to be physically together. So the very end is just alright.

The rest of the story is also just fine. I was annoyed with the fetch-quest style of things. If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s mostly a video game term used to describe the quests you might go on just to pick something up for someone else. So if you go into a house in a video game, the owner might say “since you’re here, go and get me some milk from the farmer on the East side of the city.” Sometimes you just go get the milk and come back but something the farmer says “Before I can give you the milk, you have to go get me a bucket of water from the well.” That cycle can continue through many iterations until you kind of forget that the whole point was just to get some milk. To Kill a Kingdom is not inundated with fetch quests but it did start to feel like a lot when every time a new item was introduced we had to head out to find it.

The sea queen: She’s incredibly boring. All her dialogue is very lame. It’s hard to describe it any differently.

“How many is that now, Lira?” asks the Sea Queen, looming down at me… “Eighteen,” the Sea Queen muses. “How funny you should have eighteen hearts, when your birthday is not for two weeks.”

Page 25

“Don’t look so frightened, darling,” The Sea Queen bears her fangs to a smile. “Mother’s here.”

Page 191

She comes across like a child pretending to be a mob boss. While she is powerful, she’s boring. I don’t hate her because she’s a villain, I hate her because every time she opens her mouth I’m going to fall asleep.

That’s not how gold works: On page 210, a bottle of rum is brought out that’s unique to Midas because it has gold flecks in it. When Lira drinks it, “There is a spot of blood on her tongue when she licks her lips, from the shards of gold that dance inside the bottle.” That’s not how gold works. I actually looked this up because I wanted to make sure I was right and I am. It’s such a little thing but given that it’s actually used in a fight, it bothered me. Gold bits in a drink won’t cut you. There are several alcohol brands out there that have to deal with this myth so I know it’s not true for them. It would be interesting if it is possible to make gold shards cut you as you drink rum but I have a sneaking suspicion gold is too heavy to achieve this.

Lira shouldn’t know Midasan: Lira is picked up by Eli’s ship and she can speak his language immediately. She claims she’s not fluent but she most definitely is for the entire book. This annoyed me because there’s an emphasis placed on languages in this book but in this instance it’s thrown out the window. I understand that a language barrier is a hassle to overcome in a novel. I’ve been there, it can be incredibly frustrating and really slow down the story when you don’t want it to. It would have been much easier to make Lira more interested in the humans she hunts and perhaps she had studied the language in some way. But how it reads is that she has had zero interest in learning the language and just picked up a bit here and there but is suddenly fluent when she needs to be. It doesn’t make any sense.

I did like this book overall. I think that most of these problems can be overlooked by the majority of readers who already enjoy the Young Adult genre. I was definitely getting into it a lot more towards the end of the novel and I think that’s a win for the author. I’m aware that I’m a hyper-critical reader who doesn’t represent the ideal demographic for this novel. I would still recommend this novel and will be actively recommending it to readers at the bookstore where I work! No shade on the author through any of this! I think it was a decent novel.

So that’s my review-analysis. It’s not as in depth as an analysis but it’s not as vague as a review. It’s my own personal hybrid. Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Have you read the book? Will you read the book after reading this? Do you agree with my assessments or do you think I’m an idiot who can’t see that this book is an incredible work of literary genius? Either way, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

The Vampire Diaries: Season One Review

It’s actually a little outside my normal repertoire to write reviews (although I’ve been stepping into it a bit more recently) because I’m used to writing analysis. The difference between the two is that with analysis you assume your audience has experienced the things you’re analyzing. But with a review, at least spoiler free ones, I can’t just casually bring up major plot points and talk about how they work with the characters and story. So I guess that’s just a little caveat from me as you read this that I’m not super experienced in writing reviews yet but I hope to get better!

Anyway, on to the review. Enjoy.

This will be a spoiler free review of the first season of The Vampire Diaries, which is a CW show that ran from 2009-2017. It’s a supernatural drama that focuses on our main girl, Elena, and two vampire brothers, Stefan and Damon. Despite their true ages ranging from 20-32 at the time of filming, the producers of the show really want me to believe that these actors are average high-schoolers. (They are not convincing me, like, at all.)

The pilot episode has a few things that don’t carry on to the rest of the show but that’s pretty normal. I actually have the pilot episode playing on my phone as I type this and I realized that the “diary” aspect of the show is essentially dropped entirely by the end of the season. Both Elena and Stefan keep journals for a while but I didn’t even notice when they stopped.

The vampires in the show are pretty standard. They are super fast, super strong, and obviously, super hot. Because a teen drama cannot exist without a hot love interest… or two. Or even three sometimes, who cares? Throw in six more! Okay, I jest, but it’s a teen drama. If you watch it, expect it to be a teen drama. For transparency, I haven’t watched a ton of teen dramas or any TV show dramas in general. But I’ve seen a few and I think Vampire Diaries is shaping up to be a pretty good one.

Should I rate aspects of the show? Is that a thing that real reviewers do?

Dialogue: 8/10

There are some GREAT one-liners in this show. Some very straightforward talks and fun conversations. But there are still a lot of lines that are too on-the-nose or a bit clunky. Overall decent.

Realism: 7/10

Obviously, vampires aren’t real. But the supernatural elements are pretty realistic as far as they go. I can suspend my disbelief for the way the world is built. But one thing to prepare yourself for if you watch this is injuries don’t matter. Unless they do. Because sometimes a vampire bite to the neck is instant death but other times a character could have half their blood drained and just walk it off like nothing. I think the only thing making the final decision on how serious an injury is in this show is the plot.

Character Development: 8/10

This category surprised me, because the dramas I have seen lack substance in this area in particular. Characters tend to act the way the plot demands, not how they might realistically behave. While The Vampire Diaries has these moments, they were few and far between. Even side characters acted reasonably, for the most part. One character in particular stands out as having the most development but I’ll let you figure out who that is on your own.

The D R A M A: 8/10

I’m rating this high because my biggest pet peeve in dramas is overly manufactured drama. That’s the kind of drama that feels fake even within the confines of the story. In this show, characters actually talk to each other. They treat each other like real people instead of stereotypes and plot points. I like that. They also don’t forget things too much. Sometimes, if a plot point becomes too difficult to deal with, writers will just have the characters forget about it or at least some of it so it’s easier to fix. There’s definitely some concepts that fall off radar as the season progresses but I can’t think of any story parts that are suddenly ignored. This category is only an 8 because I still couldn’t always keep track of when Stefan and Elena were broken up or together.

I guess I should rate the story: 8/10

The plot is coherent and well put together. I think this relates back to the characters because the story feels character driven. It’s nice. I like that.

Okay, I think that was enough arbitrary categories by which to judge this show. I would recommend this show to people who already like dramas and to anyone who likes supernatural/teen dramas specifically. If you’ve already seen the show (considering I’m roughly 3 years late it’s likely some of you have) let me know your thoughts! I’m pretty excited to keep going with the series and see what they do next!

13 Reasons Why: Is Everyone to Blame?

I mentioned briefly last week that I was going to talk about the book 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. But just to reiterate, I have not seen the wildly popular Netflix show and this will have pretty much nothing to do with the show. I read the book in high school, loved it, and reread it last week on my day off in preparation for writing about it. I did read a list someone made about the differences between the book and show but beyond that, I know little about the show so I can’t comment on it or compare it to the book.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am not particularly close to the topic of suicide. I know a few people who have told me much later that they had considered suicide at one point in their life but beyond that, I have not been closely, personally, directly affected by a loved on committing suicide or by any thoughts myself. I’ve experienced the tragedy through friends of friends and others. It is absolutely heartbreaking. Regardless that I haven’t experienced it directly, I am still horrified and saddened when I hear about it.

THERE MAY BE BOOK SPOILERS IN THIS ANALYSIS BUT NOTHING TOO BOOK-SHATTERING IN MY OPINION SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. There may be show spoilers too but we have thoroughly established that I wouldn’t know about those.

So the main story in the book is that there is a high-schooler named Clay Jensen who has received a box of cassette tapes. Those tapes have a message recorded on them by Hannah Baker, a high school student who recently committed suicide. She tells her story by linking her decision to commit suicide to thirteen people, thus we have thirteen “reasons”. Since Clay got the tapes, he has to be on them somewhere.

Obviously, the book deals with suicide. More specifically, it deals with the aftermath of suicide. Hannah dies before the book begins then Clay learns of the many reasons/people who Hannah ‘blames’ for her reaching the end of her life. However, she doesn’t fully play it off as other’s responsibilities that she chose to end her own life, “it all comes back to–it all ends with–me” (page 253).

She acknowledges that, in the end, she is making this choice. During her conversation with the school counselor she says toward the end, “I got what I came for” (278). She wasn’t going in looking to change her mind. She went only for her self-fulfilling prophecy. Arguably, the counselor could have done better in the conversation but at the same time, she wasn’t looking for help anymore so equally arguably he did all in his power.

There’s a recurring theme throughout the novel that can essentially be summed up as collective responsibility. On a personal level, Clay feels responsible for Hannah’s death because he got the tapes and because he liked Hannah but never worked up the courage to really make anything of a relationship with her. He repeats in different ways, “I would’ve answered any question, Hannah. But you never asked” (78). While Clay didn’t reach out too much to Hannah, Hannah also never really reached out to Clay.

The feelings of betrayal go both ways. Although Hannah doesn’t blame Clay, she obviously feels somehow betrayed by him since he is still on the tapes so he did play some role. Yet Clay also feels betrayed by Hannah because she never came to him but had unspoken feelings for him. So they both failed the other. Asher doesn’t play that as blame specifically. It’s a subtle way to show a responsibility we have for each other.

At one point, Clay talks about seeing one specific boy act inappropriately with some of the girls from his school. The girls are obviously uncomfortable and it’s a recurring problem that Clay has seen many times and he’s had opportunity to intervene, “But instead, every time, I pretend not to notice. What could I do anyway?” (50). Clay is now seeing a possible result of ignoring this kind of behavior since Hannah was also subjected to the actions of this boy. He’s not responsible for the actions of an individual but he’s responsible as part of the collective. It wasn’t just him ignoring the behavior, it was everyone else around them ignoring it too. While Clay fails to intervene, the collective fails too. Clay even says, “We’re all guilty of something” (108).

But Asher shows that not everyone feels guilty. When Clay comes across Marcus on the street, Marcus says, “I don’t belong on those tapes. Hannah just wanted an excuse to kill herself” (110). So at least one person is taking zero personal responsibility for Hannah’s death. That doesn’t change the way Clay feels at all though and by the end, he grows as a person. He chooses to reach out to a girl he’s noticed before. The book ends as he literally says her name in the hall to get her attention.

Clay has become sensitive to collective responsibility. He clearly acknowledges that Hannah made the decision to end her life, thus it is not his personal responsibility but hers. Yet he feels the collective guilt that comes from tragedy.

What have we done that a person feels this is the only way out?

How can humanity be like this?

Why didn’t anyone see the signs?

These are the questions people ask when a tragedy occurs and these questions put the responsibility on the collective rather than the individual. Yet no one has to take personal responsibility for the tragedy except the one individual who directly caused it.

Talking about collective responsibility can be difficult because in the end, we are each responsible for our individual choices no matter how bad or good those choices are and regardless of circumstances. Yet, at the same time, we make choices every day that directly affect other people in sometimes very intimate ways. So where do I become responsible for your actions?

That’s less of a direct question and more of a let’s-start-a-discussion-on-that kind of question because it’s a grey area in my opinion.

13 Reasons Why can be seen as that question in book form. Asher shows both sides of the conundrum: Hannah’s personal responsibility for her own life while and also the collective responsibility of the 13 people on the tapes. It’s very nuanced and I don’t see Asher drawing a hard line where one person stops being responsible and the other starts. Instead, he creates a compelling narrative that weaves between the lines of one person’s troubled relationships with individuals who are part of a larger collective.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255