Lost Ideas

I have had a lot of ideas. Story ideas mostly, blog ideas too. Lots of concepts, lots of world building thoughts, lots of characters, lots of vague scenes or plots, and ‘what if’ questions. I have always been a pretty creative person but I’ve always been better at having ideas than at finishing projects. Which I don’t think is too uncommon among writers/creatives. When you train your mind to come up with things, you often get a lot more stuff than you can ever realistically use. In high school I came up with A LOT of prompts for my creative writing teacher. We did a variety of projects in that class and one of mine was making a box of ideas for everyone else to use. I don’t know if she still has the box, but I know it was useful to some of the kids in my class.

Some writers have a specific place they go to in order to come up with most of their ideas. Some have a really specific medium through which they seek inspiration. I used to draw a lot of inspiration from tv shows and books. Now I’ve moved more into just the books side of that since I don’t watch much tv anymore. I think I used to be a lot less specific about where I would come up with my ideas. I think it’s always been where I can be quiet and almost forced to be alone with my thoughts. So now my place to come up with ideas, and also to mull over ideas and think about them, is probably in my car. Because of that, I actually tend to lose a lot of my ideas.

I can’t immediately type out a detailed note in my phone about an idea that occurs to me while I’m driving. I need to focus on the road. I try to keep it at the forefront of my mind so I can write it down when I get home or get to work. But, sometimes it’s just a few minutes later and I can’t recall it. Sometimes, in an effort to not forget it, I’ll try to just keep thinking it over, going deeper and wondering about different angles. It could be a story and I start thinking about how to build the world or if it’s a blog idea and I start figuring out how to put it together coherently. Either way though, that can often backfire. Because my mind continues to wander. So by the time I’ve considered the original thought for a bit, I’ve jumped to a few others in the process and now the original is lost in a tangled web of associations.

The most annoying thing about it is that I often remember that I had an idea and how good I thought that idea was when I came up with it, yet the idea itself escapes me. I know all I need is a snippet, a few words, a key thought, to bring it back to myself but the more I focus on it, the faster it slips away. It feels like trying to remember a dream. I try following my train of thought backwards and that rarely seems to work. And even if I hold onto the thought for long enough, as soon as I drive in my driveway or park in the lot at work, it vanishes. I think that specifically has to do with my brain thinking, “Oh, we’re here so now the idea is safe” and it just lets it go.

I have had countless thoughts and ideas over the years. I have absolutely not written down even ten percent of them. So many initial concepts and thoughts and characters are just lost to the dredges of my mind, eking out a small corner to eventually pass away in. Or maybe they’re just waiting for their time to come once more. Because sometimes they do resurface. But that’s not the case for most. I’ve had to come to terms with this. I can’t possibly write every story I’ve ever thought up (and not every one would even be good anyway). I can’t expound on every blog idea I’ve ever had. In the end, it’s just as well that I lose some. It makes me appreciate the ones that stick around.